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From: Peter
Date: 13 Nov 2003
Time: 18:27:13 -0000
Remote Name: 82.36.156.71
This is a really fantastic poem Shuma...I love it. The first line is great, and there are many more excellent images. What is best is that you don't list what is happening, but put all your effort in to showing how it feels.... I expect there are little changes you could make to get it even better...read it through, and read it aloud, and see what you think. Any words that could go?